The Return of B. Holcomb

What's happenin' everybody!?!

I sincerely apologize for my long hiatus, but but between me gettin' my ass kicked, yet servin' fools in Madden, SOCOM & Star Wars Battlefront, working and just doing me, I have been uninspired to blog. Fortunately, I surround myself around characters across the nation. And through various conversations, watching the news, receiving email (and the blessing known as Thanksgiving and Christmas break) I now have some subject matter...so let's get into this

(Editor's Note: I apologize for the spelling mistakes that you may encounter...I'm going from the top of the dome)

1) DAMNIT QUIT WRITING ME!

Shortly after 9/11, I received an email from an attorney who claims to represent a distant relative of mine by the name of Eric Holcomb. Eric originally passed away for fighting "the good fight" by suffering casualties in a recent civil war in Nigeria. Due to his passing, all of his assets are frozen, and an immediate member of his family is the only one that can gain access to this loot through proof of relation.

At the attorney's request, apparently I'm the apparent heir (btw, he skips my own father, my uncle, and aunties, their aunts and uncles etc...but you know I charged that to the fact that I'm the one that's profiecient in email....). Now the attorney wants me to wire funds to some account in the United Kingdom, in addition meet him over on some block close to 22 Baker Street, make the exchange and all will be good.

Come on dude.

So when I first received this email, I forwarded it to a friend of mine who at the time was working for the CIA (thus their name will reamin anonymous). This person proceeds to mention to me, how interesting this email is, but not to worry about it. I was like "cool", and we began to enter our normal dialogue as to why Michael Jordan is still playing basketball...

Several months later, I receive an email from the same attorney. This time my distant relative Brian Holcomb died in a car crash on his way to the capital city of Rwanda. Brian now has some sort of royalty in his blood as the title "Prince" proceeds his name. And once again I'm the royal heir to their family...forgoing the other older members of my family...you know how this story will end.

Come on dude.

This time I just deleted the joint.

Unbeknownst to me, for the next 4 odd years (and counting) I would randomly receive these notices from these attorneys, and my distant relatives would range from freedom fighters, to princes to the person who's about to drop the next platinum hit. All of these cats whom I'm the heir apparent or the closest relative.

Can I please get off of someone's spam list. And if these cats was doin' it so big in "Mother Africa", why haven't they reached out to me?

Come on dude.

2) Halloween 05

I acutally meant to tell this story earlier, but I got sidetracked, so I make it quick. This was the Holcomb household's inagural year for passing out candy. As one who was deep in the trick-or-treat game as a child, I made it a point to make sure we wouldn't be labeled as "The Wack house" (not to be confused with "crack house") But basically the house that gives wack candy...or even worse, the house that gives you that candy wrapped in the solid black or solid orange candy wrappers. So I decided to play it safe and get Starburst and Skittles. As the night proceeded here are some quick anecdotes from the night

---Man after seeing so many Power Ranger costumes, It just then occurred to me that the Power Rangers have been in the game for 13 years. And for those of you keeping score @ home, Bobbi Kris (of Whitney & Bobby Brown fame) is 12 years old.

---This one cat showed up to our door with no costume...no bag. Just stuck his hands out and said "Trick or Treat"? When answering the question "Who are you supposed to be? And where is your bag" My man answers "Dude, my bag got stolen from me." Gotta admire his stick-to-it-tiveness

---Lastly this cute little kid dressed up as Batman. Had the Cowl and everything. His cowl was too big for him and he could barely see above it. As I mentioned earlier I had supplied the crib with Skittles and Starburst. "Batman" proceeds to say to me "I don't like Skittles", then proceeds to point at the starburst. COME ON DUDE. You're six years old, you haven't ascertained that Starburst and Skittles are the same candy? And MF when did you get the authrotiry to dictate what you do or don't like when going trick or treating? I should've done him like Charlie brown and gave him a rock, and called it a wrap!!

3) The Supreme Court

Quick point here. But does anyone truly believe that Alito won't get into the supereme court? Like one of my homeboys in college used to say all the time: America "gaurd your grill"


4) The Holiday Movie Season.

During the Holidays I saw King Kong, DeRailed, Fun with Dick & Jane and the Christian Movie (a/k/a The Chronicles of Narnia).

King Kong was pretty good. Didn't need to be 3 hours, but I understood why Peter Jackson wanted it that way. The first hour of the movie is based on character development...you don't see King Kong until the 64th minute of the movie. But pretty much, if you've seen King Kong before, you're not missing anything. Although the T-rex fight, and the scene w/ the sloths were impressive.

DeRailed was decent. My favorite actor right now is Clive Owen, and my wife is a Jennifer Anniston fan, so it was a no brainer that we saw this flick. Because it's a suspense thriller I won't go into to much detail. But I will disagree with people in saying that Jennifer Anniston was miscast...she was perfect for that role! The Rza (from Wu Tang Clan) did well also!

Fun with Dick and Jane is a movie that is very much overdue. It wasn't a great movie, but it's a must see (if that makes sense). It basically a comdeic tale about an upwardly mobile employee (and his co-workers) who gets done dirty by their fortune 500 company. And the remaining of the movie details how they survive and attempt the lifestyle they had with no employment. I felt the movie did a great job of poking fun of "Today's corporate America". To my fellow Kelly Business School alumni, you ALL must see this!

I was probably the only kid who admits to never reading The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. See all of my friends in 2006, rave about how awesome that book was etc. etc. But when I asked them about it, nobody could tell me what it was about. Allow me to borrow one of the more overused phrases in the African-American community but "YOU AIN'T GOT TO LIIIIIIE CRAIG!!!!"

That being said, this movie was pretty damn good. Had Star Wars not came out earlier in the year, I would think this was the best movie of 2005. And the animation of the animals was simply breathtaking (to me at least...I mean I'm the same person that thought "New Coke" would be here to stay back in 1986).

5) This bullet was reserved for Marcus Vick, but is there anything really left to say? Well two things:

a) I still feel the Gator Bowl incident was exaggerated. Next time you see the replay, watch it in normal speed, then notice how "The Media" intentionally slows it down...yea it looked malicious then, but in normal speed, nothing was said. Whatever man!

b) Shout out to the brotha known as "Jamiz"...but if your squad could draft Maurice Clarrett in the 3rd round (LOL!!), I'm pretty sure Marcus Vick will get drafted also.


6) The Boondocks.

If you don't know...you just don't know

7) Grey's Anatomy

The show is greatness! Bottom line people, it's like throwback ER. And the show's developer is a sista! Check it out when you get a moment

8) The Game

The Game has removed himself from Black Wall Street because his friends and family have been abusing his name and talking bad about him behind his back. He's now severed ties with these people and will be coming up with a new monkier for his crew.

Um..Game...didn't Andre Young tell you this will happen? Don't get it twisted, I still support you (BTW, Game IMO dropped the 2nd best album of 2005...please reference New Coke analogy above) But this isn't anything that should be expected. Biz wrote a song in 1987 called "The Vapors". This too will pass. Also Game, I read an article how you were boasting about ending the careers of Memphis Bleek and the Young Gunnaz.
Um, that's not exactly a resume bullet. (Please reference Jay-Z's verse in the song "Diamonds are Forever" by Kanye West). Even Jay knows Bleek is garbage LOL!! And the Young Gunnaz (even though I love that song "Can't Stop Won't Stop") Chris & Neef were just something to pass the time by. Notice they only drop music during February and March (some of the non busiest times of the music calendar)

9) My Top 5

One of my blog postings for the end of 2006 will be a top 5 albums of the year (all genres). Although we're a dying breed, there's still a "Collect" (Isn't that the plural of "The Borg")? @ any rate I will compile all of the responses from "The Collect" and hope to present you all with a top 5 list. But since I already made the statement about the Game, here are my remaining 4 albums

5) Get Lifted- John Legend
4) Be- Common
3) Late Registration- Kanye West
2) The Documentary- The Game
1) The Misntrel Show- Little Brother

Honorable Mentions: Grown & Sexy- Babyface; The Enancipation of Mimi-Mariah Carey

10) Lastly just wanna send a shout out to family and friends for the 2006 season. May this year be prosperous and filled with life long lessons you can grow from

The Man who wonders if Professor Griff says to himself "They fired me, but they got Flav acting a fool??"

B. Holcomb

P.S. Holla At ya boys, I will return from the Phoenix shortly!