Monday, February 27, 2006

WANTED FOR INTERROGATION PURPOSES



HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN!?!?!?!?

His name is Ang Lee.

You haven't???

Maybe you've heard of his work Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Oh yea, I loved it also...

Did you also know he won a 2006 Golden Globe Award for Best Director for the movie "Brokeback Mountain" ??

And did you know that he was the one who put that TOMFOOLERY together known as "The Incredible Hulk movie" ?

WHY YOU DO THAT TO US ANG????

How do you do a great Kung Fu flick, eff up the Hulk, & then win critical appraise for cowboys who are of an alternative lifestyle!?!?!?!

WHAT'S REALLY GOOD WITH YOU SON!?!!?!?!?!?!?

If you see this guy in the street, tell him b.holcomb is looking for him son...He will pay what he owe!


Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The Cheaters, The Tics, The Mail and random other stuff

Cheaters & Star Wars

***THE FOLLOWING ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO US DURING THE NIGHT OF FEBURARY 8TH, 2006****

So the night of February 8th, The Court and I met up with this other couple and we attended the Dallas Symphony performance of the Star Wars Score last night. Anthony Daniels (the cat who played C-3PO) narrated (sp?) the score if you will, as he started with Episode I, and would describe various scenes, and the orchestra would then accompany him with the corresponding music to the scene.

One of my favorite parts was when they arrived to planet Hoth (the beginning of Empire Strikes Back), and they played the Imperial March. During this time, they had Stormtroopers marching up and down the aisles, and Darth Vader was up on a balcony shaking his fist at the audience. Very cool.

At the end of the concert, the Court, myself and the other couple were gathered in the library, taking pictures (well I was taking pictures) of the various stormtroopers and R2-D2. When suddenly, in through the lobby comes this camera crew, and in the middle is the average height woman, with short red hair and layers. She makes a b-line to this one cat in particular, says a few words, and then leaves the building.

Instantly we're like "Who the eff is this chick?" So then the jokes proceed

"Man that's probably one of Ashton Kutcher's flunkees, and that dude got punked"

"It definitely wasn't a news crew...because there weren't any call letters on the side of the camera"

"Maybe that dude won some sweepstakes"

"Y'all, while you BS'n it's probably cheaters!"

"You mean you took this b**** to the Star Wars show, and you couldn't rent Episode III with me?"

After more trippin', and finally about to make the move to our respective cars, we looked outside and the camera crew is still there...this time there are 3 people in the middle of the crew. So we roll up, and I go to one of the onlookers "Say man, what's going on?" To which the onlooker replies "Dude...that's CHEATERS!!!"

"CHEATERS!!?!?!?!? To what we reply

Instantly I look to my left, and sho nuff I see the two white vans that they roll in, and then I hear the Court yell "THERE GOES JOEY!!!"

Y'all, we are now witnessing an episode of Cheaters being filmed. And I'm like "damn, this n***** got busted @ the STAR WARS SYMPHONY!!!"

The remainder of the night we just hung back, and watched the "trio" argue back and 4th. I would provide more details, but honestly it was real subtle (We came to the conclusion that they couldn't get real buck wild in the Arts District of Downtown Dallas). And due to the subtlety (sp?) I don't think this episode will make the air.

We did wind up seeing "the victim (the red head)" escorted back into one of the white vans, Joey (the host) was playing his normal yet monotone role of "Why did you this?" "How do you feel?" "do you know what she is going through?" The dude who got busted is banging on the van (very quietly might I add) talkin' about "Let me in..." "Let me in...I want to talk", and the cheatee (this skinny blond chick) left the scene as if she was the tv show that followed CSI: Vegas "Without a Trace".

One of the crew persons turned to me, and the other dude I was with and asked "Do y'all watch the show?" To which I replied "Whenever I can maing...Say, we was just in there trippin' like YO, what if that's cheaters?!?! and sho nuff" To which the crew person replied "Man, you'll NEVER know where we'll show up!"

Finally the vans left, and we all said good night to each other. We jumped in the ride and The Court kept marveling at how short Joey Greco is the entire ride back (and for your own reference, at 5'8", I had a height advantage on Greco)

The Tics

Around Spring of last year, I received an email from my man Glen out in the Bay area. Glen knowing that I'm an avid cartoon fan, felt I would appreciate the information contained within his embedded link of the email he sent me.

The link took me to this story about this 9 year old kid in Indiana who is organizing a protest(via online petition) in lieu of news that Warner Brothers is changing the look of our beloved old school Looney Toones. Specifically: Bugs, Daffy, Taz, Wilie E. Coyote, and the Road Runner. See below




The petition goes on to state tha these new Looney Toones look pretty frightining and don't deserve to be put on air. "Please perserve our memories of our precious Bugs, Daffy & the gang etc..." and sign this petition.

Me being a cartoon purist, and noticing the fact that there were already 1123 signatures on this petition, I had to oblige...because I too wanted to perserve the image of Bugs and the gang, and not those futuristic things to the left.

Randomly I would visit this "petition site" and see that the signature were increasing, and thinking "wow, this little kid (who obviously had help from his mother) is actually trying to make a difference. The last I checked the petion reached 5118 signatures and I saw no sign of these future Looney Toones...mission accomplished

Then cold November morning (Yes it does get cold in Texas), I was flipping the channels and saw images on the WB similar to images I posted above. Man, the little kid lost his fight! They are actually going to change the face of the Looney Toones as we know it! Well, the least I can do at this point is to tune and watch the show...i think it's called "Loonatics Unleashed"

Let me tell you all something...after watching this show, I don't what kinda information that little kid and his mamma were fed. This show isn't a must see, but it's not bad (if you can get pass all the corny one lines thru the show)

Essentially, the premise of the show takes place in the year 2772...

Basically picture the Justice League (or the X-men for you marvel buffs) meets the Looney Toones. Yup, all of your favorite looney toones characters now have super powers. Which break down like this

Ace Bunny--- The Leader, shoots lazer beams out of his eyes, and is gifted in martial arts (Reference: Cyclops from the X-men meets Bugs Bunny minus the inner bitch that's in Cyclops)

Lexi Bunny---The girl, has super hearing, and shoots projectiles from her brain (Reference: Jean Gray meets Lola Bunny, minus the telekenesis and psychic ability of Jean Gray...not to be confused w/ the rapper Jean Grae)

Danger Duck--The Smart alec, Can Teleport (a/k/a "Quaking") and can throw flames out of his hands (picture Nightcrawler, meets Firestar, meets Daffy Duck...and this dude even has Daffy's ego)

Slam Devil--The Muscle, Is super strong, like the original Taz, moves by turning into a tornado, only communicates through grumbles and growling, and yet everyone can still understand him (Reference: The Thing meets the Tazmanian Devil)

Tech E. Coyote---The Engineer, Invents everything at will. Understands everything on a scientific level...can also heal instantly from any wound suffered in battle (Reference Wolverine meets Wile. E. Coyote, minus Logan's temper)

Rev Runner---Ultra fast, can fly, and has a GPS system in his mind, which allows him to track down any and everything. (Reference: The Flash meets The Road Runner)

As I said earlier, the show isn't bad...matter of fact from a "plot by plot" standpoint, the show is very well written, it's just the corny one liners throughout the show will kill you.

Just another example of making sure you have all your information straight before you protest...


The Mail

This last item needs to be addressed and targeted towards all my friends and family who call me, yes including my wife! Please understand that when you call my home or cell phone #, and I can't get to your call...please feel free to leave a message (as I state in my outgoing message).

This is my own personal rule when it comes to voice mail. If you call me, and don't leave a message, I'm gonna interpret that as you really didn't want anything. Yes, I have Caller ID, and sometimes "I see that you called". And I won't lie to you and say that "my time is valuable"...because frankly it really isn't. There are days where I just don't feel like talking on the phone. So if you don't leave a message, don't approach me the next day asking "Did you see that I called? Why didn't you call me back?"

This next scenario always happens to me:

I'll call my wife or a friend...it'll ring 4 or 5 times. Then their voice mail greeting comes on, I wait for the tone and proceed to leave my message. Halfway through leaving my message, I'll receive a "call waiting tone", and it'll be the person who I'm leaving a message for.

Again, to all my friends and family...I probably don't want anything important, so I'm not about to "click over" only to repeat exactly what I left on your voice mail. But I'm a flexible cat. I've learned to play your game. If I call, and get your voice mail, I just won't leave a message...I'll anticipate that you "saw that I called", and will call me back. But riddle me this people...why do you even pay for voice mail in the first place, if you're so heavily dependent on caller ID???

Okay, I'm done...just had to get that one off my chest

VP Richard Cheney

This is actually too easy. I'll just recommend that you tune into late night talk shows, as Jay Leno, Connan O'Brian, Jimmy Kimmel and David Letterman are having a field day (no pun intended) w/ this incident. I can't wait to see what Chris Matthews has to say about all of this

The Crossover

Lastly, if anyone can email me or leave in the comments section the answer to the following question you'll be forever remembered as a good person! And that question is:

What exactly is the entire hook for the 1992 classic EPMD song "The Cross over". Here's how much I've been able to ascertain

"Whatever you want....
...whatever you need....

???????????????????????????

THE CROSSOVER!"

So if you can fill in the appropriate blanks...shout @ me please!

The kid that's everything you wanna be but have yet to become,

B. Holcomb

P.S. If you missed it, check out my Holla At ya boys fam for the Kanye West 2006 Grammy performance! It was nice!